I’m Andrea Giles, and you’re listening to the Heal from Infidelity podcast, episode number 237, Truth All the Way Out.

Infidelity changes everything. Who you thought you were, what you thought your life was. From here, you can keep circling the pain or rebuild something real. This is a space for men and women navigating infidelity. Whether you’ve been betrayed or you’re the one who broke trust, I’m Andrea Giles, master certified relationship coach. I know what’s possible on the other side. When you’re willing to tell the truth all the way out, you’re in the right place. Let’s begin.

Hello. Hello, everybody. Hello. I’m so happy to be back talking with you today. I, uh, went and looked. It’s been since the end of November, since I’ve done a live episode. And in this episode, which you can see is called Truth all the Way Out, I’m going to talk to you a little bit about why, where I’ve been. We’ve been playing encore episodes, and I’m grateful that they still seem to help. I’ve gotten lots of feedback about the reminders, refreshers of things that are recorded before that are still really helpful. I’m so glad. But I was ready to come back, bring you some new content, some new thoughts, some new ideas, some new things to try in your own life.

But before I get into all of that, I want to tell you a little bit about where I have been, what happened? So this episode, truth all the Way out, where did that come from? I have been in this field now. I first did my first certification in 2018, started coaching in 2019. I started my podcast in 2020. It has grown and grown and grown. I’m getting very close to hitting a million downloads. It has reached people all over the world. But last fall, I kind of hit a wall. In lots of different ways, I hit a wall.

I was looking at this podcast. I was looking at my. My marriage, my relationship with my husband, my relationships with my children, my relationship with myself, my relationship with spirituality, with the faith that I grew up in all kinds of things and going. There are some things that really, really need my full attention. There are some things that don’t feel quite right, and I wasn’t even sure what they were. I was feeling a little bit of burnout, but not because I don’t want to keep doing this work, but because there were some things that were just not sitting right in me, and I needed to slow down and figure out why.

So I Paused. I decided to give myself a break, to step back and slow things down. And what has happened in the last few months has been very surprising to me. I did not know how much I have been operating from a place that I called strength. But that was really a lot of force, a lot of getting things done, doing things to get it out there to help people, always to help people to make an impact, but overriding some of my own truths in the name of being of service, in the name of doing the things that I agreed to do, or the right things that this industry in online marketing tells me to do.

You have to be consistent. You have to keep putting out content. And I realized within myself, there’s something that feels off, and I need to slow down and figure it out. So in the last several months, I have spent a lot more time with myself than I ever have probably in my life. It has not been as much of being such a consumer, of studying everyone else’s work, hearing from everyone else. I’ve learned from different people, but a lot has been me learning from me, me hearing me. Me going deeply, deeply inward and hearing what I have to say.

And some of those things that, uh, that I have heard have been very, very uncomfortable. I am going to be sharing a little bit more about that in the next couple of episodes. I’m going to be sharing more about my truth all the way out and some of the things that I have really needed to sit with and feel. This truth all the way out theme has come up again and again and again. For me, though, in the last several months, it’s come in my mind, dropped in my mind. Andrea. All the way out, all the way out, all the way out.

And what I’ve learned is that I have always been a really strong person. Always. I have learned how to deal with life early on, learning how to deal with figuring out how to make money for myself as a teenager and buying my own things and learning how to be very independent. Getting into college, uh, on my own and getting scholarships and being the first in my family to attend college, the first of the kids. I’ve done a lot of things that have shown me that I do have a lot of strength. But what I have been tutored in is that some of that has been strength that was born from survival and not from actual choice.

And that’s been one of the truths that I’ve had to really sit with, is how much of the things that I’m doing are coming from this survival place, this survival mentality, and not from m. The choice of who I actually want to be in the world from the truth of who I am, not the truth of how I’ve had to become through survival, but the truth of who I actually am, the gifts that I have, the things that I really want to say. Not because the industry backs them up, or because it’s what’s polite to say, or even what’s helpful to say, but, uh, because it’s what’s true.

So in the last several months, I’ve been sitting with again, this concept of truth all the way out. What does that mean? First, let’s talk about you. You’re here because you want help navigating infidelity. One of the biggest changes that I have made in the name of being truthful is that when I first started this business, I had the intention of helping people navigate infidelity that were women who had been betrayed. And when I first started out, it was a faith based business. Uh, that’s how it initially was. Over the years, I’ve dropped that. And now anybody from any faith, any spiritual or otherwise background can come work with me.

But now I work with everyone involved. I work with people who have betrayed. I’ve learned so much about who these people are, who you are. And I know that most people never go and say, I want to be unfaithful, I want to blow up my life, I want to hurt my partner, I want to blow right past their feelings and have my way and do what I want. Most people are not that way. Most people are operating from unhealed wounds that lead them to places that they never dreamt of. And I am, um, here to get to the bottom of these places that we are afraid to look at.

And this is where truth all the way out comes in. You listening? There are truths that you are circling. There are truths about what you want that you are circling. There are things that you do not feel allowed to say. There are things that you deeply, deeply, long for, that you feel like are a pipe dream or, uh, that you don’t think you deserve or, or that you have no idea how you could get there. And so you, you kind of blow it off. There are feelings that you have that if you say them out loud, you’re afraid of what might blow up in your life.

You’re afraid that if you actually own who you are and what you want, that people will leave you, that you will be abandoned, that you will be rejected, that you will be alone. And so you water down what your truth actually is. And that has been a deep Part of my work in the last several months is me going, andrea, what do you really, really want? What do you really, really want? Not what you can handle, not what you can have a good mindset around and make okay when you’re not really okay. But what do you actually want? What do you actually want?

Do you. What do you yearn for? What kind of business do you want to run? Who do you want to help? If you could say anything at all, even if it pissed people off, what do you want to say? That’s been some of the conversations I’ve been having in my mind, and I’ve been pushed to my limits of discomfort in really sitting with truth, sitting with the things that have come through, of. Of what I need to talk about in the ways that I need to talk about it.

What do I need to address in my own life that I have been circling? What habits have to go, what coping mechanisms do I have that are not helpful to me? So these are some of the things that we’re going to be talking more about. Because in reality, all of our freedom comes from owning what we want, knowing what we want, getting the truth all the way out. The truth, the truth, the truth.

The truth of different circumstances, the truth of how we actually feel about things, the truth of who we are, the truth of who we are not. Identities that we survived through that were placed on us or that we picked up along the way, that we’re. We’re not here for anymore, who we actually are, stepping into, owning that and feeling those feelings all the way through, all the way through, not sabotaging ourselves by using things like food or like distraction, social media, even positive affirmations to try to push away our own true feelings.

We’re not here for that anymore. We are living in times where truth is required. And here’s the thing, truth cuts through so much faster than anything else. Truth has a frequency to it that cannot be denied. Truth can be, uh, challenging. I think of truth like a sword, like, smacking that sword down, it cuts right through. And it can hurt.

It can hurt us when we feel our own truth, we’re like, oh, my gosh, like, that’s real for me. And now what. What do I do with this truth that I actually feel? What do I do with it? Right? That can be very, very painful. Very, very challenging. And yet it’s necessary. And yet it’s what’s going to lead you to a life that is honest, that you feel fully aligned with, that you feel top to bottom aligned with.

And I can tell you this in my own work in the last several months. I feel more aligned right now in my life than I think I ever have. Now. I want to make sure you know something. Alignment does not mean completion. Alignment does not mean certainty about outcomes. There are many moving parts of my life right now. There are many things that are up in the air that I just don’t know the outcome to.

And that said, I feel more aligned because I am speaking up for those things. I am advocating for change. I am asking tough questions of myself and of others. I’m setting boundaries around things that I’m not here for anymore, things that I don’t want to talk about anymore, things that I don’t want to pretend like I care about when I don’t, for example. Or volunteering for things that I actually don’t feel aligned with anymore.

All kinds of examples that I can give. But I’m on my own journey with this, and I want to invite you to be deeper in on yours, deeper in on your journey. Now, for those of you who have been around for a while, you will hear that for the first time in over 200 episodes, I changed my introduction. Changed it. Why? Because I’m not the same person that recorded that in 2020. I’m not that same person.

I’m not that same person. And I speak to a different audience and I speak from a place of a different kind of authority than I had when I recorded that in 2020. You will hear that I said, in that truth all the way out. This is now a premise for everything that I’m going to be putting out. It’s around truth. It’s around owning what is real.

And while one person can have their truth and another can have another, and we can get confused in this, What I want to help lead you to is there is capital T. Truth. We’re going to talk about that more what is universally true, and then we’re going to talk about objective truth. What is true to you based on your values, based on your standards, based on the things that you. That you want and the things that you don’t want that are very personal to you.

Those things are very valid. Even if somebody else has a different objective truth than you do. But you owning what your truth is all the way out is going to set you free, it’s going to set you in motion, it’s going to move you forward, and most importantly, it’s going to help you feel at peace within yourself. Even when things around you are shifting and moving and feeling uncertain and you’re not sure where they’re Going to land.

Okay, so are you in? Are you in on this journey of truth all the way out? Are you in on this journey of setting down all the things you think you should be doing, slowing it down and looking at the truth of what you’re doing, the motives of why you’re doing them, the outcomes that keep happening, that you’re not sure why they keep happening, but you know it’s not working for you.

Are you ready to get to the truth of those things too? Uh, of just ripping off the band aid and getting to it, cutting to the chase and getting real about why things might not be working for you in a way that you think they should? Why maybe you can check the boxes and say that you’re doing all the things and it still doesn’t feel good.

Now, for those of you that have been betrayed, you might feel like everything is being done that could be done, that your partner’s showing up in a way that according to the clinical checklist should work and I should feel better, but I don’t. We’re going to talk about why that is.

There are likely truths within yourself that need to be let all the way out, all the way out for you listening who may be betrayed. There are likely things that you feel unsettled in. You might be swimming in shame and there might be some stories that you are holding onto that just are not true.

There might be things that you’re holding onto that need to be said. There might be details that you’re so ashamed to say, but that you know you’re holding onto and that are costing you dearly. We’re going to get to that too.

All of these things, while temporarily very uncomfortable, very disorienting, are, uh, what is going to set you free. It will set you free. The truth will set you free. That’s what we’re here for. Truth all the way out. We’re getting it out.

We’re recognizing where we are holding ourselves back. We’re taking full accountability for the truths that are said and unsaid and the, the things that we need to bring to the surface so we can feel them all the way through and show up in the ways that are going to ultimately lead us into alignment, into inner strength and into action based courage into the things that are going to ultimately heal us truly from the inside out, truly.

Where we can feel at peace, where we can feel good day to day, where we can like who we are, where we can be grateful for where we are, where we can be grateful for this journey that we’ve been on, as hard as it may be, uh, where we can say, I may not have learned that any other way.

I may not have figured this out any other way. And that goes for everyone involved. Everyone involved. Right. So are you with me in getting to the truth? All the way out.

I will be sharing more about my story in future episodes, especially for those of you who are new around here. So many of you have recently come into my space. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I’m so glad that you’re here. So glad that you’re here.

And I’m going to be sharing a little bit more about who Andrea is today and what’s on my mind and what kinds of things I’m creating for you and what I invite you into.

So to close up today’s episode, I want to invite you into something. Those of you who maybe have been circling my get your life back after infidelity program, I am making some changes. I know that there are some things that I want to teach in a different way.

There are ways that I want to deliver it in a way that is more sustainable in the long run for me and for my team and ultimately for you. In the meantime, the program itself is highly, highly effective.

The coaching, the live coaching in there is very, very potent because I’m bringing you into all of what I’m sharing today in real time in your own life. All the things that I am learning, I’m bringing to you in the most powerful, direct way that I know how.

So if you know that you are done circling the pain and ready to go in and face these things and get to the heart of it and move your life forward, take radical accountability and ownership of right where you are and go, I’m, I’m done, um, I’m done feeling this way.

I don’t quite know what the solution is, but I’m ready to feel something different. I invite you to grab the application, link in the show notes. Get your application in.

The cost of the program is significantly lowered right now. Significantly, significantly lowered. So if this is something that you have been looking at, now would be the time, because it will go back up.

I’m not sure when right now, as I am in this reworking phase of. Of. Of changing up some content, changing up some of the deliverables you can get in now at a price that is accessible, at a price that you can jump in, get to work, get all of the content, get all of the live calls, any of the trainings that I have done, any of the new trainings that I’m going to be putting in there.

Now is a amazing time to get in. So get your application in and we will see you inside.

All right. Thank you so much, my beautiful listeners, and I can’t wait to keep talking with you. I’m so glad to be back and we’ll talk again very soon.

Uh, thank you for listening to the Heal From Infidelity podcast. If you would like to be kept in the know about upcoming free classes, new podcast episodes, and other ways of working with me, go subscribe to my my weekly email.

You can subscribe at andreagiles.com lies-about-infidelity forward/ Again, it’s andrea giles.com lies-about-Infidelity forward slash I will see you next time.