I’m Andrea Giles and you’re listening to the Heal from Infidelity podcast,
episode number 150: How to Reclaim Your Life After Infidelity.

Hello, and welcome to the Heal From Infidelity podcast where courageous
women learn not only to heal from their spouse’s betrayal, but to become
the boldest, truest, most decisive and confident versions of themselves
ever. If you know there’s more for you than the life you’re currently
living but don’t quite know how to get there, you are in the right place.
Stick around to learn how to create a life that will knock your own socks
off. Is it possible? It is, and I’m here to show you how I’m your host,
Andrea Giles. Are you ready? Let’s dive in.

Hello everybody. Welcome to this episode. In this episode I’m going to be
breaking down my method, the Post-Infidelity Growth Method, which I have
trademarked. In my method, there are five milestones that have a strong
intention and strategy behind each one. Before I jump into each of these
milestones and break them down here, I want to take just a minute and do a
quick introduction for any of you who are new around these parts. I know I
get new listeners a lot, and I want to just say hello. I’m Andrea Giles. I
have now been the host of this podcast for nearly four years. I came into
this space by my own experience. On the front end, I was in a marriage
where there was infidelity and all kinds of other things. I decided to
leave that marriage 11 years ago at the time of this recording. Six kids,
had always been a stay-at-home mom, and he was a successful lawyer, did
well in his career.

It was very, very scary for me to leave that marriage, but I knew that I
needed to. I knew that it was no longer going to be a good environment for
myself or for my children, and so I left. And just seven months after the
divorce finalized, he was killed in a car accident, so our worlds were
rocked again. He was only 39. My kids were ages 15 down to five. Fast
forward a little bit, I got remarried to a widower who lived in Montana,
picked up my kids, moved to Montana where I became a stepmom to five more
children, and became a grandma a year after that to one of those
stepchildren. She had a baby. And I now, at the time of this recording,
have four grandchildren and one on the way. If you do the math, we had 11
kids between us. And then a few years back, I had the surprise of my life
when I found out I was pregnant and had another baby. So we have 12. We
have 12 children between us, six of mine, five of his, one of ours.

I came into this space because I didn’t know how to heal. I didn’t know how
to get better, and I set off on a mission to learn how because I was
dealing with so much pain in my own life. I went to all kinds of therapy. I
went to retreats. I did a lot of different things. It wasn’t until I was
married to my now husband and about a year in my marriage that I was
introduced to coaching. At the time, I was going to school to be a therapist
and completely switched gears because it totally changed my life. It was so
much more helpful to me than anything I had done before. I went all in. I
did a certification and have done several since specific to infidelity,
specific to relationships.

I’m in a year long, pretty intense certification right now. Anyway, you’ve
come to the right place. I have experienced in my own life, and I’ve now
been coaching for five and a half years or so, helped lots and lots of
women. And with that, let’s jump into these five milestones. Okay? Now, I
mentioned that there are five milestones that have clear intention and
strategy to each one. Why the combo of intention and strategy? We are meant
to heal. Our bodies and minds are meant to heal. Our hearts are meant to
heal. And when we give our minds and our bodies and our hearts the best
support, we expedite that healing. Now, when we get physically hurt, we can
have really great intentions for healing and really want to heal, but we
might not actually heal properly if we don’t have the necessary strategy or
skill.

Just this morning, I was looking at my knee. I have a scar on my knee that
I got when I was seven years old. I was playing out in a field, I got
tangled up in some barbed wire, and it cut my knee open pretty deep.
Although my parents had the intention of helping my knee heal, I have a
pretty good size scar. Why? Because even though they had the intention,
what it needed was stitches. I needed stitches. I needed medical attention,
and instead they put a Band-Aid on it. What I needed was some stitches,
some better cleanup, right? And I would probably have a much less
noticeable or no scar at all. It’s much the same as somebody who breaks
their arm. We can do what we can to help that arm, not use that arm, but
sometimes that arm needs a professional who knows exactly what to do, who
sees it all the time, who is not shaken by it, who knows exactly how to
handle it, to reset that arm, to cast that arm so it heals properly, right?
So it’s not just a matter of having good intention.

Intention is a big deal, but it’s also learning the skills and the
strategies to healing in a way that’s going to be sustainable and will
impact your life forever. Okay? This episode is going to be breaking down my
process in teaching you each part of what is required to deeply heal and
reclaim your life. I encourage you to stop and pull out a notepad and some
paper and take notes along the way. Where you’re going to get the most out
of this is by really listening and looking at where you’re totally slaying
it. Where do you need to lean in? Where’s your growth? I think this might
be one that you come back to multiple times to really let these concepts
sink in. But if you start to practice with what is here right now, you will
change your own life just by practicing these things.

Now, there are five milestones that we’re going to go over. I call them
milestones because I imagine each of you walking along your own unique
path. Not one of you has the same situation as the next person. There might
be many similarities, but not exact. But the path to healing is universal.
We are all made of the same stuff, heart, brains, courage. You’ll arrive at
the milestones at different times. It’s okay. But as you grow in your
ability and skill in each milestone, you will be getting better prepared for
the next milestone. Each milestone builds on each other, builds on the last
one, just like going on a long trip. Each mile marker gets you closer to
your destination, and you cannot get to mile 1000… This is a really long
trip that I’m talking about. You cannot get to milestone 1000 without first
hitting miles, 200, 500, 700, etc. You get the gist. There’s no shortcut
but understanding and practicing these milestones is the most efficient way
without endless, unnecessary detours.

It’s your straightest shot, straightest shot to what? To freedom, my
friends, to peace, to resolution, to certainty. I want you to imagine
knowing who you are in your relationship, knowing the kind of relationship
that you want, and knowing how to get there. It may not be easy, but you
know have to in it with your eyes wide open because you believe that it
will yield the greatest rewards. It’s not your choice because it’s your
default choice or the path of least resistance, or one that you feel
obligated to choose. You’re choosing it because in your heart, in your gut,
that it’s going to push you forward to become the best version of you. You
know that this is chosen out of your highest values, your highest
standards.

You know what you’re going to accept, what you won’t accept, and you don’t
question your decision. Even if you are temporarily alone, you are
intentional about the kind of life you are creating, and you are becoming a
magnet for the right person who is meant to walk alongside you. Okay?
Doesn’t that sound good? It sounds really good, right? It is good. I’m
telling you; it is good. I am living this reality right now. I’m living this
reality. And this has come much by work that I have done now in my second
marriage, practicing the things that I’m going to go through here today. I
did not come into the marriage with these skills intact. I had to learn
them and practice them, and we’ve had to do this together. Okay? Now, let’s
dive into the first milestone, emotional freedom. How many of you struggle
with a roller coaster of emotions from day to day?

You may one day lash out at him, one day put up a wall. You may one day
feel like crying and feel so, so sad, and one day just be full of rage. And
it can change from minute to minute, right? Here’s the problem with this.
What we’re doing when we’re in this space is letting those intense emotions
stay in the driver’s seat and never take us where we want to go. They’re
leading us here, they’re leading us there, and it might feel really urgent
and important. For example, if we have a moment of feeling rage, it might
feel really important to tell them off or to say something harsh. If we
have a moment of fear, to shut down, withdraw, run, hide, right? The problem
is that instead of responding to these emotions, we’re reacting to them.
Why do we do this? Because we want to get out of pain and fast.

We don’t like being in pain. We don’t like the discomfort. And so when
we’re reacting to them, we’re trying to feel something different, but we’re
often escalating it, making it worse, feeling different things that felt
worse than they did before. We might be driving a bigger wedge. We might be
pushing away the very thing that we want most. We might be so angry all the
time that we are not even able to soften into some of the discussions that
we need to have, right? We often are sabotaging ourselves what this looks
like, whether you stay or go, it’s like this. Sometimes people stay and
they made their decision. They’ve seen changes. They feel like there’s
enough good there to build on, but they still have this layer of resentment
and anger that’s just kind of under the surface. It’s just right there.
Where do you think this is going to end up in five years, in 10 years? It’s
not going to end up anywhere great, and the one who’s going to suffer the
most is you.

A common thing is people leaving the marriage thinking that that’s going to
kind of fix it, that they’re going to feel better, and often they don’t.
Often, they leave and they wonder what the heck happened to their life.
Okay? I can relate to this. Even after I got remarried, I was single for
quite a while, a few years. And after I got remarried, I did not know how
to do these things. I didn’t know how. I heard things in concept, but I
didn’t really know how to actually do it. And some of the things I learned
that I’m going to talk about later in this episode, I didn’t know how to do
at all. So it’s stuff that I had to learn that has made a dramatic,
dramatic change in my marriage and in my life. I can handle when my kids
tell me hard things without freaking out, right?

I know how to pause. I know how to sit with it before responding. So
whether you stay or go, this is something that needs to be practiced and
learned. Now, learning to ride the waves of these emotions will put you and
your wisdom back in the driver’s seat, no longer controlled by whatever you
may be feeling today. This means that when you hear his phone ding and your
urge is to assume it’s her and you lose your mind, you give yourself a
minute to pause, to breathe, and then respond. You’ll get so much more
traction this way. Because when we come at someone with guns blazing, their
nervous system’s automatic response is to put up a wall or to get
aggressive back, and no one wins. Okay? This is the space when we can learn
to ride these waves and to wait and settle ourselves down before
responding, we are going to make our wisest decisions from this space.

We are going to deepen our trust that we can handle intense emotions and
step into them. This means that when we are making a decision that we know
is a hard one and we know that we might feel something on the other side of
making that decision, we trust ourselves that we can take it. Okay? I’m
going to share with you some words from a client that went through my
program. Her name is Angel. She said, “Andrea taught me that if you are
scared, you’re doing it right. We are taught that you must sit with your own
discomfort. If I didn’t have to feel the pain or sit with, it simply wasn’t
real.” She was kind of avoiding sitting with it because she didn’t want it
to be real.

She says, “This is something I struggled with the most, to sit with my own
emotions, but now it’s what I embrace the most.” She says, “She also taught
me my favorite thing of all, so much so that I had it tattooed as a
reminder. Ride the wave. Feel the feels and sit with yourself because what
we resist persists. Then we get to work, we get back up, and put our
provided skills to use. We are not meant to suffer and hide our feelings.”
This client, she changed her entire life. She left her marriage. She has a
completely different life now. After really seeing who she was married to
and if it was a wise space for her to stay, she could see that they had
very different values, different things going on, and she left. All right,
we’re moving forward to milestone two, facing the truth. We are really,
really good at self-deception. We’re good at looking away from the things
that we don’t want to see.

Many of us knew there were things in miss in our marriages, but made
excuses for their behavior or avoided looking at what was true, because
then we’d have to do something about it and feel the discomfort of the
truth, right? This milestone is about intentionally facing it head on,
looking at what is there. What do you see? This is the part where you look
at these things. How did we get here? What happened? What was going on in
our marriage? This is where we look at the actual facts of the infidelity.
This is where we learn to be present to what is. Now if we’re only making
decisions from the past, we’re probably glossing over what is currently
true. Okay? For example, if we are totally focused on the past, we might
not be looking at what good things are here to take into account. We might
be so stuck on the affair or whatever happened in the infidelity that we
can’t see the total transformation of the person that’s in front of us.

We might be so stuck in our story of them that we cannot see what is
actually being presented to us now as data that needs to be evaluated. One
of my past clients, her name is Julie. I remember a coaching call. She came
to the call and her words were, “He did this to me. I can’t believe he did
this to me.” And what we broke apart is that by staying in that space and
not really looking at what was true today, she would try to talk with him,
and then get so mad. And it would end up with them both just at a stalemate,
not getting anywhere. She was hurt and angry and not really able to see what
was true.

This was keeping her actually avoiding what was true. It kept her from
seeing the things that were there, the things that she needed to know about
him, about the marriage, about where to go. Once she learned to shift that
thought to really just accepting this is something he did and what am I
making of it, when she could really see that she was able to make a wise
decision for herself from her highest brain, from her best self. And she
decided to stay in this case. Okay? When we learned to face the truth, we’re
evaluating why this is bruising our ego so much. Why am I so embarrassed?
Why do I feel ashamed? We are looking at where these stories came from.
We’re even looking at our partner and getting some understanding of where
some of their behaviors came from, not to justify, but to see.

And from this place of truth, we are better able to get out of judgment and
into discernment. And with our new emotional skills from milestone one,
we’re able to see when we are moving into judgment, which, by the way, is
where we move into this very black and white thinking, “He is this, he is
that, he’s rotten, I should leave immediately,” or “I’m a loser, and if I
weren’t, he wouldn’t have done this. I must not be enough.” Right? Getting
back into discernment is when we can actually look at the data and make a
wise decision based on data, based on truth within us, not just emotion.
Emotions can be a guide, they can lead us in certain directions, but when
we have data, that helps back up the things that we’re trying to decide.
Okay? Now, we’re also looking closely at what our thoughts are about his
choices. And how are those thoughts gaining in the way of having what we
want? For example, if we are thinking we must not have been enough, we will
feel small and insignificant.

When we feel small, we are asking small questions, showing up in a small,
diminished, shallow way. We may have moments that sound bold and even
forceful, but they’re likely coming from a place of fear, not power. We’re
trying to get some power because we feel so small. It might be like we’re
grabbing for power. But in the end, we may feel even more small, more
insignificant, and we may be positioning ourselves to not get the facts that
we need because we feel so scared and small and unable to hear them. We
certainly are not helping ourselves move forward. Now when we can learn to
see how our thinking is directly affecting the results that we are
currently getting, we can start doing something new. Being mindful of what
you’re thinking and trying on new thoughts is a game changer. When we have
the courage to face the truth, we are leaning into hard conversations,
we’re asking the tough questions even within ourselves, like these, what’s
it like to be married to me? What’s my husband saying about me? And what is
actually true?

Okay? In a recent call with my group, one of the women was saying one of
the meanings that she was attaching to what he has chosen. He’s chosen to
end the marriage. And in the coaching, we are able to go back in time to
what kind of wife she was and really pull out the truth here that she did
not know some of the things that he was unhappy about. She didn’t know. But
she knows because she was able to look at all those things. Even though it
has stung to hear the things that he’s been unhappy about, she knows that
if he would’ve come to her and told her, she would’ve been totally willing
to do what she needed to do to change those things. She knows that. She was
just not given the opportunity. He chose to leave before she could dig in
and work on these things.

She had a willing heart. She just genuinely didn’t know. And my guess is
that many of you are in the same camp, that you really didn’t know things
that they’re unhappy about, and they didn’t come tell you, right? So now
when we have this information, when we have more information from a calm
mind, we can move past that initial ego hurt, like that sting when it really
bruises our ego at first, and really get to the deeper part of it, what
we’re making it mean, and what we want to make it mean instead, what is
true, so we can make really good decisions. Okay? Again, this is not about
excusing their behavior. It’s about getting all the information on the
table. This is where our wisest decisions will come from. This is where we
are able to move from a active place filled with assumptions and things we
simply don’t know to a place of calm, assured power. And as they say,
knowledge is power.

When we face the truth, we strengthen ourselves to make the very best
choices for ourselves and our lives. All right, moving on to milestone
number three. When is the last time you deeply pondered what you want for
your life? If you could have anything, truly anything, any kind of
relationship, any kind of friendship, any kind of anything in your life,
what would it be? How would you feel? How would you be able to express
love? How would you be able to receive love? What else would be good in
your life? What are your hobbies? How do you spend your time? This is
expansive. It’s more than just your relationship. Here’s the truth. The
only one that can really get you out of this mess and hurt is you. And to
be really successful, you must become a strong visionary for your life. You
must be able to hold that vision.

Most of us look to the past to dictate what we think we can have in the
future. We’re really tied up with this old identity of who we think we are
or who we don’t think we are, right? To really move forward and claim our
seat at the table of having great relationships, a great life, we have to
see it. We have to be able to see it and hold it. Part of this is deciding
the results that we want and getting to work, creating them. Part of it is
understanding our own values and our own standards based on our vision.
Part of it is knowing what our own bottom line is, really knowing it and
knowing that we can trust ourselves to hold that bottom line, and also
knowing that by holding this vision and getting to work, creating it, we
are actually setting ourselves up for secure relationship because we know
how to be strong co-creators of what we want.

Okay? An example of this actually happened yesterday. I was talking to a
woman who told me that her husband had an affair 10 years ago. She said
that she made him leave, that it got really bad, that he hit pretty low,
and then she brought him back home. It’s been 10 years. She said they’d
never talk about it, and she said, “I don’t know that I’ll ever feel as
close to him as I did before it happened. I don’t know if our intimacy will
ever feel as connected,” and she was telling me all these things. And keep
in mind this was not a client. It was actually somebody in my community that
I happened to just be chatting with. And I said, “Well, I happened to be an
infidelity coach,” and that’s how she ended up telling me. But I’m like,
“If you were my client…” And I asked her for permission to share
something. She’s like, “Please.” I’m like, “If you were my client, this is
where I would encourage you to get to work. What’s working for you here?
What’s not working for you here?”

And trusting that we are so powerful that we can be co-creators in an
outcome that we love, that we are meant to have great things. When we put
our money where our mouth is and get to work, that’s when we start creating
the connection. That’s when we start pushing forward the conversations.
This is where we get moving and start to change things by holding a really
strong vision of what we want and getting to work. Okay? Now, I will say
that sometimes when my clients first start working with me, it’s hard for
them to see. They have a hard time seeing. They have a hard time holding a
vision. I happen to be good at it. I happen to be able to see my clients and
see who they are and hold a really strong vision for them. And I can hold it
and share it with them, and remind them what is meant for them until they
can see it too, until they start practicing this new identity. And that’s
part of what we do in the coaching container, is you can borrow my vision
as you are stepping into your own.

All right, milestone number four, relationship skills. This is a milestone
that I actually recently added, and am adding to in the program all the
time. Why? I’m adding new content into my program because this is what I’m
seeing. Often, my clients decide to stay or they decide to go. Sometimes
they’re in a completely different relationship, and they’re recognizing
that their old ways of communicating are not working anymore, that they’re
falling back into old patterns. They’re doing the same things they were
before, and they’re so afraid of it. They’re so afraid because they
recognize the familiarity in it. And they want to learn something
different, but they don’t know how. Just a couple of weeks ago, I coached
someone in the group who was recognizing this and seeing this, and she just
declared, “I am not going back. I am not going back.” And she wanted some
help and knowing how to navigate really standing for something more.

She was not going to fold back into how things were. And so part of that
call was helping her develop her skills to do something different, to
really name the patterns that were there and to do something different.
What this looks like, and you practice these things throughout the program
too, you learn a new skill. Okay, I teach it to you, you learn a new skill,
and then you start to practice it. You practice it and it becomes a state
of being for you. You’re in this state where you are feeling calm, for
example, where you know how to calm yourself down. You do that enough times,
it’s like the reps, doing the reps in the gym. It now becomes a trait. You
no longer have to think about it.

The neural pathways in your brain have been developed and supported so that
this is now your way of doing things. You once learned this thing, and now
it is what you do. Okay? You’re developing these new traits that are your
new way of being. And in my work with my clients, I stand with them in not
going back. You did not come this far to just go back to your old ways. I
really felt this in my current marriage. It’s been hard to see my old
patterns, the ways that I would close down, or the ways that I would bottle
things up, and then blow. I have had to see my own patterns. My husband has
had to see his, right? And being able to see them and try new things,
clumsily, as we may at first, has made all the difference. One example,
that is a relationship skill because it goes out to everyone around you, is
first holding yourself in high regard, holding yourself in high regard with
full respect, and respecting all those in your life as fellow humans that
are highly valuable.

Why is this a skill? Because after infidelity, it’s a tall ask, right? It’s
a tall ask to hold someone in high regard or to feel respect, just mutual
respect as a human being. Sometimes not mutual respect. Sometimes we don’t
feel very respected. But what happens is that when we can hold this space
as this is a person that is worthy of not being treated terribly and I’m
going to be respectful, what this will do is it will soften your responses.
It will minimize unnecessary fighting. You’ll be able to communicate more
clearly, less reactively, and ultimately get what you want. Even if it’s
not with this person, you’re going to learn if this is somebody that wants
to learn these skills with you. But at the end of the day, you will be able
to hold your head high knowing that you respected you, that you can respect
how you’re showing up, right?

We are not going back. We’re only going forward. We are either making a
better marriage, like way better, with the person we’re with or we are
leaving and growing into the person that is a magnet to someone who can
hold your vision and meet you there to help create it together. No one can
do this for you, right? This is the relationship skill piece. This is
learning new skills, new things, new ways of communicating, new ways of
seeing the relationship so you can bring those things into your
relationship, whether it’s with the same person that you’re with now or
somebody else in the future. Okay? There’s no skipping over this because
these are things that we have not been taught. Most of us have not been
taught how to be in a relationship in a healthy way.

All right. Now, last milestone, self-leadership. This is another one that I
recently added. Okay, I’m going to start this one off by sharing some words
from a past client about this concept, Holly. She said, “Andrea didn’t
empower me. She showed me how to empower myself. It’s the greatest gift
anyone has ever given me. And of course, there’s a price tag associated
with working with a professional as Andrea is, but the work she does and
the tools she teaches go way beyond healing from infidelity. They’re
priceless life tools that show you how to be the best version of yourself.
There’s a big difference between being around people that lift you up, that
help you feel empowered and learning to create it for yourself, learning
how to empower yourself.”

That is power, when we are not dependent on anyone else, right? This
self-leadership piece is about leading ourselves forward in every
circumstance. When the chips are down, when he is not saying or doing what
you want him to say or do when he is actively invalidating you even, when
others disagree with your decision to stay or leave, when your heart is
heavy, when you feel scared and uncertain, this kind of personal strength
is what leads someone forward no matter what, no matter how they are
feeling. You are creating your own power. You give yourself the fuel. You
have a self-belief that is unshakable. It doesn’t mean that you always feel
that way, not at all. It means that you know how to generate it when you
need to.

And it does not come from outside of you. Outside of you, we can get little
hits of this, but this is you learning how to give it to yourself and lead
yourself forward. It’s a skill to practice, to practice relying on
yourself, and you then have the ability to be your own furnace that you can
ignite at any time and step forward in your own leadership. Okay? Let’s say
that you know that your partner is still talking to the other woman. You
see him sneaking in texts. You suspect it and you’re watching.
self-Leadership does not sit back and do nothing. Okay? Self-leadership is
very proactive. In this space, you are digging deep. You are recognizing
this is really, really scary and uncomfortable to look at because I don’t
know how this is going to end. You decide what works for you and what does
not, and you face it head-on.

When he says he doesn’t want to end it with her, you feel devastated and
confused all over that you do not stay here long. You lead yourself
forward, and you also recognize your role as a leader. How? Let me tell
you. You are changing generational patterns. You are giving your children a
new blueprint to follow, of what marriage looks like, of what relationships
look like, of what it looks like to respect yourself. You’re teaching
different ways of communicating. You are doing away with staying small,
hiding, defending, raging, all of these things. You are leading. First,
you’re leading yourself, and then you’re leading others.

You are modeling a new way of being, first to yourself, then to your spouse
and your children, and then everyone around you. Okay? Everyone can
recognize, what has changed in her. Wow. Right? Why does this matter?
You’re taking the leading role in your life. You’re stepping into it with
so much courage. When we step into this, even when we don’t know the
outcome, we are calling in all the best things. We are doing our part to
ensure a good outcome, a great outcome. We are laying it all on the line
because we know that the highest risk yield the highest rewards. We hate
that it happened, but we accept that it did, and we decide what we want to
do with it. Okay? We ensured that those meant to walk this path with us
will. Those that are meant to grow with us will stick around. Those that
are not, we will know and we can lovingly let them go.

When we start showing up differently and stop stepping back into those old
patterns, we are applying this healthy pressure to support change, more
friction that the other person will either learn to handle and grow their
ability to hold it or they’ll back away because it’s too hot. It’s okay
because you are going to draw someone in who can handle your heat, your
fire, your leadership, your power. Okay? When you combine all of these
things, you become a force to be reckoned with. Recent words that a client
of mine who just left my program, she sent these into me.

She said, “My life has completely flipped and done a 180. It wasn’t just my
marriage and the infidelity that was essentially worked on and healed. It
was myself. I’m now able to work on things with my own parents and from my
childhood. I have a two-year-old son and it’s helped me with parenting. I
want to teach him to be able to process through his own thoughts and
understand his thoughts and create his own results. I take the information
I learned and apply it to everything in my life instead of it just being
centered around the infidelity in marriage. I use it in my entire life. It
has changed literally my entire life.” I hear this from lots of people,
that they see everything a little bit differently. When we practice all of
these things, our lens of how we view the world, how we view ourself
changes. Okay?

Now, when we are stepping into this space of self-leadership, you’re going
to still have down days. You’re going to have really hard days sometimes,
but what’s going to change is that you’ll have the ability to remind
yourself that you have the power within you to change your thoughts, to
change your mood, to change your actions, and ultimately to change your own
life. Okay, those are the five milestones. Again, milestone number one,
emotional freedom, milestone two, facing truth, number three, vision,
becoming the visionary, number four, relationship skills, and number five,
self-leadership. You go all in on these things, you will change your life.

Infidelity is a crisis for most people. It often shakes us to our very
core, but when we rebuild with not just intention… Yes, the intention is
really, really important, but when we rebuild with intention and strategy
and skill, we become unstoppable, much stronger than we were before, much
wiser, happier, more rich, fuller. I know none of you wanted to be in this
camp, this infidelity camp, but since you are here, let’s get every bit of
usefulness out of this experience, shall we? Let’s use it. Let’s leverage it
to grow. Let’s not give any more power to it than we already have. It’s
already taken a lot. Okay? We’re going to take it back.

If this episode has resonated with you, I’m inviting you to step into your
own self-leadership and take the next step. What that means for you is
individual for you. Some of you may be brand new. I invite you to keep
listening. Some of you may be listening and going, “That’s the work. That’s
what I need. I want the support. I want the tools. I want all of it. Give
me, give me, give me.” Okay? If that’s you, you can go ahead and sign up.
You can just take your spot and join all of us. Join the amazing tribe of
women that are in this group. You can also schedule a one-on-one call with
me or a team member to get questions answered to make sure that it’s a good
fit. Information of how to do this, the next step, scheduling a call or
going ahead and joining is going to be in the show notes. You can go find
that easily.

But please take the next step, lead yourself forward, whatever that means
for you. Only you have the answer to what that is, but I challenge you to
do that. All right, it has been a joy and pleasure, as always, to be here
with you today. Go get it, my friends. Life is short. Life is short. Okay?
You are not meant to suffer forever. You are not meant to hurt forever. You
got to take the reins control, and move things forward. Okay? All right,
take care, and I will see you next time.

Thank you for listening to the Heal from Infidelity podcast. If you would
like to be kept in the know about upcoming free classes, new podcast
episodes, and other ways of working with me, go subscribe to my weekly
email. You can subscribe at andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/. Again,
it’s andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/. I will see you next time.