girl screaming

How to Keep Your Calm When Your Teen is Losing Theirs

Change can be crazy hard. Our family is going through a whole lot of it right now. Everyone is feeling it, and this week my daughter came home from a visit to see her Aunts and Uncles out of state and within a few minutes of being in the car from the airport, she started in on me about various things. 

We got home and I took her phone from her and oh- she was not happy. She came into my room full on yelling (some would call it screaming- ok- it was screaming) about how unfair I am, how no one in the family likes her, how unfair it is that we have to move, etc. 

I would not give her a reaction which made her even madder. I finally asked her to leave my room until she could talk to me respectfully. I told her I am happy to have a discussion with her later when she was calm, but I would not sit there in my own bedroom and allow her to yell at me. She finally left. 

She came back later with an apology and we had a calm, open, loving discussion. 

Now what does this have to do with you? Some of you live with spouses or children that have learned to have their way in how they speak to you. But guess what- you don’t have to allow it. You can still love them, allow them to be mad, and also set a boundary for yourself. You also don’t have to fix it. We are all here to experience all the ups and downs of life, and sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to sit back and allow our loved ones to work through their own struggles. 

It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to say, “I am happy to discuss this when you are calm and can be respectful.” This is how you have your OWN back, and the magic in it is that you are teaching others how to treat you. They may have completely valid concerns and frustrations. That’s ok. Nothing gets solved in the heat of the moment! 

Show up for yourself unapologetically. Own your power and strength. Everyone around you will be better for it. The more you grow this muscle, the easier it will be to set safe boundaries for yourself. In the case of my dear daughter, I am teaching her through my own example how to show up for herself. I want nothing more for my children than to learn to honor and trust themselves. You can be your children’s #1 example, and your own #1 fan. Take care of you. 

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Hi. I’m Andrea Giles and I am so glad you are here.

Not many years back I found myself in a life I didn’t recognize, feeling confused, sad, and so small. My “forever” marriage was in shambles, and I didn’t know if I could ever trust my own judgment again.  Through my faith and some great tools, I was able to completely change my life and find myself again. Now it is my mission to help others who are right where I was. Click the button below to read more about my story.

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Hi. I’m Andrea Giles and I am so glad you are here.

Not many years back I found myself in a life I didn’t recognize, feeling confused, sad, and so small. My “forever” marriage was in shambles, and I didn’t know if I could ever trust my own judgment again.  Through my faith and some great tools, I was able to completely change my life and find myself again. Now it is my mission to help others who are right where I was. Click the button below to read more about my story.